Lead With Love

Family body image. This topic comes up a lot in my groups and has me thinking this week. Lots of people ask me how do I have a 13 year old with such confidence, healthy body image and a healthy view of food. The answer to this is so complex it has had me thinking all week. The answer because at 13 I was the opposite. Body image all stems from something in your life. Somebody helped shape that image. I was taught from a young age that my body would never be acceptable. It was something to be hidden in shame. I watched from a very young age that my very thin parent would never wear a bathing suit and would stay covered up in the summer. She would always diet and exercise trying to achieve something better. Which I never understood. I always thought she was beautiful. I do know now as an adult that was her issue that she should have never deflected and passed on to me. At 12 I was given my first can of Slimfast. A thought that makes me shudder as a parent to even think of doing that to a child. At 13 I was told I needed to wear a t-shirt over my bathing suit as she felt I was too chunky. Something that broke my heart. At 14 she put me on some diet that came over the TV that had dehydrated food. At 15 I was scolded in the dressing room for being a 9/10. I was told if I went over that size I would not have any more clothes bought for me. That is when I got my first job and started buying my own clothes. So what does that have to do with my daughter? Everything. I was never going to let my lifestyle change be a factor in my relationship with her OR my son. I have always been very careful with both of them. I have always lead with love not fear, confusion or intimidation. When I started to eat clean Olivia was 10 and Avery was 16. I just started to alter what they were eating to accommodate me. It was never a big deal. The knew I was doing it because I wanted to get healthy. I never asked them to eat anything I ate although there was plenty if they were interested. Eventually dinners began to change. My family is not 100% clean although I am. My daughter though has taken to eating 85% like Mommy just because she likes the food. That was simply done by leading by example. That was the ONLY thing I did. Lead by example, be open, be honest. It took me almost 20 years to erase the negative voices in my head from my childhood. My children will never have those voices. Ever. The voices they will have are you are worthy, you are destined for greatness and you have my heart unconditionally forever.

Don't let food be an issue. Be an example and lead with love. The rest will take care of itself.

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