Memories Of My Poppa

22 years ago today was the saddest of my life. The day my Poppa passed away. He was beside my Daddy the first man I ever loved. This morning on my run I really focused on thinking about him. Of all his grandkids I know we were the closet. He even flew me to his house for the week of my 16th Birthday for a special shopping trip and one on one time with him and my Grandma. He taught me that love doesn't die when someone leaves you due to death or circumstances. He has proved that by popping up in my life with our special symbol ever since he left. Even though he is gone I have always felt him with me. Everybody loved my Poppa. He owned a Bar. He was a people person. I feel I got that trait from him. I love people, I love conversation and I know that is my gift from him. When he passed it came really fast we were told we needed to get to him quickly. In the middle of booking tickets we received the call that it was too late. He was gone.  Even though I was just 18 I carried the guilt of not being there and him being alone. That is until I had my brush with death 7 years ago. Now I know he wasn't alone. There isn't many times I will talk about the details in that hour and half I was unconscious but that hour and half gives me peace on situations like this. I know he wasn't alone in the end. I know in that time he was peaceful and pain free. That finally set my guilt free.

HOPE

Change is good. I'm not talking just about the 110 lbs I lost. I am talking about the new person I am. On the left I was not only morbidly obese. I was just diagnosed with a very scary disease. One I will be treated for for life. I was scared, hopeless, hanging on by a thread and trying to survive daily. The only thing that made me put on a brave face and a smile was my children. That only happened when they were around. The other times I was miserable and horribly negative. Until one day I saw a light. That light was hope. Hope that I could have a better life. I woke up one morning and decided that my life wasn't a death sentence but a gift.  I believed in my soul I could be better. I might not be the same but what was wrong with that? I was basically broken in body, mind and spirit. Wasn't it time to change? I promised myself no matter how much time I had I would make the rest of my life - the best of my life. It wouldn't be perfect. It might be a mess at times but I will make my way. I was not only going to heal myself from the damage from condition, I was going to heal myself from my childhood and from obesity. That first year with nutrition and workouts I lost 102 lbs. The following 3 so far I have maintained 110 lb loss. I have set boundaries in all relationships that only allows good healthy, positive people around me and my family. I ended the toxic trends that have been in my family for generations. Now years later I help other people get healthy and change their lives the same way I did. No magic. Just nutrition, workouts and positivity. Tragic events can knock you down but it can only hold you there and define you IF you let it. I have decided I am not allowing it. I define me. So can you.

Maintaining a 110 LB Loss

Many have asked me how I maintain my 110 lb loss for over 3 years. I didn't have a deadline to stop.I created routine in my life. I eat clean, get cardio and resistance/ weights. You simply can not lose if you just do one. I turned my negative mind to a positive one. Also after years of looking for and trying to find I discovered there was no quick fix. I hold it all. I simply changed my life by waking up one morning and deciding to do it. Body, mind and spirit. Always.