I Define Me

Sometimes you are just remembered for things that aren't so wonderful - today is one. Before my gran mal I volunteered every Wednesday at the soup kitchen in town. That is until I had my gran mal there 8 years ago. After I physically could not make myself return. For fear of it happening again. For of the unknown as I was unconscious for 2 hours. For embarrassment. For shame. I could not go back. The building would make me physically sick. I would have an anxiety attack. My husband even tried to help me through it since he knew how much I enjoyed volunteering. No matter how much I wanted to return. I could not. Today I helped at same type community center but not the place it happened. I ran into a man I use to work with every Wednesday years ago and told him so. He scratched his beard and couldn't place me. I said I use to have red hair...nope.. I use to weigh 100 lbs more... Hmm.. Last time you saw me I had a seizure and left unconscious in an ambulance - ding ding! Lol. There you go. He remembered. That might be what I'm connected with but it doesn't bring me fear or shame any longer. It is a chapter in my life that made me stronger. I no longer give it the power to define me - I define me. Not a moment.