Control

Pretty morning sunrise run. Actually a much needed sunrise #om  I woke up stressed out because my children are getting older and the Holidays potentially will not look like this next year. So in my mind I started orchestrating scenarios of what we will do, how it will look, how we can keep things "Moran Clan" because I need my babies with me on the Holidays. Ok it's now 5:30am I'm filled with anxiety over things and what I am doing is not orchestrating but "controlling". You think I would have learned 9.5 years ago when the life was almost knocked out of me that I am never in control. I battled that for a long time and it was horrible. The one thing I learned from that is even though I am not in control is I always have a choice. I made a choice about that when I decided to make the rest of my life the best of my life. I made a choice when I decided to get healthy. I also make a choice each morning when I open my eyes and thank God for giving me another day. So now I simply need to remember I have another choice. To be present. To choose joy and peace in my heart and let what will be , be. Because He has just made my children more magnificent with every year. I have always told my friends scared when their kids are going into College it just keeps getting better because it has. I know that wherever the road leads it will be ok and we will be together. So if I have to remind myself 100 times I will to just breathe and enjoy now.