My Life Day

Today is a bigger day for me that my Birthday .. It is my Life Day. Six years ago today I had my gran mal seizure. An event I do not wish upon anybody but changed me to a better person. A person who knows that by the grace of God I was given a second chance to get my life right. You might think that is extreme but if you do you most likely have never been given this gift. As I sit here writing this I can still feel so much of it. I remember laughing with my kids driving down the freeway. I remember starting to volunteer at the Soup Kitchen. Then it all goes black. I don't know how much time has passed but I remember lying on my back seeing the gazebo in the center of town and EMT stick something in my hand. Then black out again. This was during a ambulance ride I don't remember. Some more time passes. I hear people walking, things beeping and myself breathing. Have you ever heard such a silence and had no sight that your breathing sounds really loud? Finally when I have my vision back I just see my husband sitting by my side staring at me. I was out for an hour and a half. Time I will ever remember. Time my children will NEVER forget. They were just 6 ad 12 and witnessed it all. Nobody understood what happened. The ER said I was dehydrated and needed rest. Luckily, another volunteer from the Soup Kitchen called he said you didn't move much but I know you had a seizure. That night my tongue was hurting. When I looked in the mirror I had bit it in half. The hospital checked paperwork saying my tongue was fine.... I knew then I was in trouble. I cried myself to sleep and called a neurologist in the morning. That lead to many tests which lead to my diagnosis. Gran Mal Seizure due to irregular brain waves. I will be on meds 2x a day for the rest of life. In that moment I could not see past the diagnosis. Few things kills the human spirit like lack of hope. I was destroyed. I fell...crashed.. into PTSD. I was afraid to walk, eat, sleep....breath. I was so afraid to die I forgot to LIVE. One morning I literally woke and realized I was given the gift of life. What was I doing with it? Eating, gaining weight, crying, being angry and feeling sorry for myself. I realized I needed to stop and live each day as it was my last BUT enjoy it. From that moment I have put my family, my health, positivity and paying it forward as my goal. I found my hope again and along this twisty road I found myself.

So now looking back I have seen 6 more Anniversary's, 6 more Birthday's for more Children, 6 more Christmases, I watched my son Graduate from High School and start College. I get to watch my Niece grow. I get to kiss my kids, watch them turn into amazing people and grow older with my husband. I get continue build and have great relationships with friends and family. I got to lose 110lbs and learn to be healthy - also to help others to do the same. I GET to turn 40 in a few weeks!! Usually something somebody dreads - I am so excited I am!!

My life is a gift and I thank God every morning when my eyes open for my second chance. Also that He has given me one more day with the hopes for 50 more years <3

Never let a diagnosis or fear define you... YOU define you.

If you are stuck in a hopeless situation know there will be happiness again. You can overcome anything - just as I have - I promise. If you know somebody who is stuck - feel free to share this with them.