Wednesday, March 30, 2016

My World


We all have a story. The main part of that story is our "why". These two amazing people I have been blessed with the honor of being their mother is my "why". It all began with Avery when we were even younger than he is now. Getting married and starting a family. From that moment everything we have done has been for these two. We are far from perfect but we always tried our best. We wake up with them on our hearts and minds and go to sleep the same way. They are our everything. Without these two I don't think I would have found the fight in me after my seizure to find the light and become healthy physically or mentally. I had to though, I had to care and protect them. Without them even knowing they helped save my life in the darkest time. Because of this circle of love I am now healthy and happy. I get to pay forward all of it by helping others find the same thing. Life is an amazing circle. For me it always leads to these two. My world, my loves and the reason for everything.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

International Epilepsy Day 2016

Today is International Epilepsy Day a day to raise awareness on something very close to my heart..and brain. 7 1/2 years ago I had a normal day. Driving around with my kids then volunteering at a Soup Kitchen. From that moment almost the next 2 hours of my life were gone. I remember waking up for a split second in a ambulance then nothing again. Later I heard noises and woke up in a bright ER room to my husband with his head in his hands at the end of my bed. They diagnosed me as dehydrated. I went home that day and later that night found my tongue was nearly bit in half. We called the Neurologist. After extensive testing it is found I have irregular brainwaves. This is something I take seizure meds for twice daily for the rest of my life not to have another. IF I have another I will be declared an epileptic. I have been assured without the meds it would happen within days if not sooner. My life has never been the same from the moment this has happened. At first I lived in fear so dark and scary. A place a wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Then one day I literally woke up and realized this wasn't a death sentence BUT a second chance to LIVE. I changed my thinking and changed my life. Body, mind and spirit. I lost 110 lbs. I have kept it off 4 years. I help others to do the same. Life is what you make it. You can find the bad and stay in the bad or you can take the bad and make it something beautiful. I still I have fear, I still have anxiety but it is manageable with hope and faith.
.
Now what can you do? If you see someone having a seizure don't be scared. Use your "BRAIN"
.
B- Be Calm
R-Remove dangerous objects
A- Always time the seizure
I- If the person has fallen turn on their side & don't hold down
N - Never put anything in their mouth

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Toxic People

I talk often about toxic people and boundaries. How getting these people out of my life changed my life. People will message me and ask, how do I know who is toxic? Usually you know. It is an instinct. You feel better without them then with them. You don't dread communication. Here is a little list though to help. If you have to have them in your life set healthy boundaries. If they are not necessary to you or your life end the relationship completely. I promise even if you end a relationship a new healthy one is waiting for you. Seriously look at that list... What are you missing out on? You just have everything to gain.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Life at Peace Not in Pieces

Posting about living a peaceful and positive life is something I don't just talk about it is something that I physically do. Years ago I use to let in everyone. Their issues, their drama, their chaos and it hurt me physically and emotionally. When you are in a place where everyone around you is negative, hurtful, enabling, hateful, in denial, in a place of blame - you can't possibly live a good and healthy life. I stayed in that place way too long because I was a people pleaser when all along what it was doing was slowly killing me. When you are raised with abusive relationships. When you are around people with addictions - you lose you trying to help everyone because that is what you have been taught to do as to not rock the boat. It even goes outside the little scope of people to- everyone. I naturally want to help. I naturally want to help people heal. It is a part of who I am and what I do. That is when they are ready. I know when I decided to get healthy it was at my rock bottom. It took me a long time to get to that moment. Getting there is something I can't want or wish for you - it has to come from within - you. In that moment for me I knew it wasn't just ok, it's time to lose weight. I knew it was time to get healthy. Body, Mind and Spirit. For me mind was a big one. I was told stress had to go by my Neurologist after my gran mal. That meant cutting friends and family out of my life I never before would have imagined my life without. It simply had to be done. Their level of toxicity was never going to change. For others boundaries had to be set. Very clear boundaries. I am not the same girl who you can look at with a smile, run over and then do it again. Detachment is a great thing. When I know the situation is too much. That it is not authentic, stressful or not coming from a good place- I can step away physically or emotionally. This doesn't mean I don't love and care for the person. It just means until the person takes ownership and heals I am backing away from their chaos and letting them deal with it. When you stop worrying so much about what others think and start focusing on yourself you will live a much more peaceful life. Then just let life happen as it should. Even though I have closed doors to people, put some serious boundaries up. I can guarantee you those relationships that are gone have been replaced with beautiful healthy ones. Also, the relationship with those boundaries do now respect those boundaries even though some fought them in the beginning. In the long run it is all worth it for peace.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Bon Voyage!

I should be on a cruise ship right now, I am not joking! I honestly should. I earned a trip as a coach to go Jamaica. It left yesterday morning. I decided not to go. Why would I do that? Well there are several factors. Friday night was probably one of the biggest nights in my daughter's dance HS life. She was going to find out if she as a Freshman was going to find out if she was going to make the JV, Varsity or be cut from the dance team. Being cut was a possibility. She had an injury and you never know what was going to happen during auditions. As soon as Auditions were over Spring Break began and we had to wait for the number to pop up on the computer. Well, she made the top team we found out at midnight. As a parent that is something I didn't want to get the news by phone as we were traveling to catch a ship. I want to be here to hug her, to kiss her to celebrate with her! If it had gone the other way I wanted to be here for her to do the same. That is what parents do - they do in my world. We are here for it all after all we only have the gift of them for so long! Second my 21st wedding anniversary is this week. My husband for some reasons hates cruise ships. He said have fun. Take a friend. How could I possibly do that? He had been my love, my best friend, my everything for 21 years. I couldn't possibly. I had the thought of giving it to one of my coaches but I know from in the past also I can't transfer the ticket it is for me only. Third and I mentioned it before we are on Spring Break now. I have 4 of those left with my daughter in High School before she goes to College. With my son maybe 2 left before he graduates from College. I want every moment with my kids before they are gone. Fourth I decided to plan a girls 3 day trip with my sister and my daughter for next weekend. It is to an event my daughter was invited to and something she is really excited about. Bottom line my family comes first this week, as always. Being a coach means I live my life by design. Sometimes mine doesn't look the same as others. Sometimes people will think I'm completely nuts for it but I am totally happy with it. There is no better paradise then with my family

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Investment to Health


Most mornings I will look at the "on this day" on Facebook to see what I was doing 1,3,6 or more years ago. One consistent thing I have found is 5,6,7 years ago I was always sick. I would be recovering from a cold, a fever a sore throat. Funny because then I had no idea about the troubles in my brain I was living a carefree life. More like a careless life. I have not been sick ONE single day since I have started eating clean, working out, drinking shakeology. I have lost 110 lbs. I have maintained it through workouts and nutrition. I have become healthy inside and out. Some say that my lifestyle has a hefty price - I say putting your health last does. Honestly making all my changes has not changed the food bill it has just shifted the priorities. Give up one thing for another. I have actually made thing better with my condition by eating healthy, clean and dumping foods with chemicals and preservatives. In the long run I would say it is a win. I'm 41 healthier and more fit than when I was 21. I'm not dieting - I'm living my life as healthy as possible without feeling deprived. This is a lifestyle. One I am so happy I took the chance on. You are worth the investment especially when you realize that honestly there is none other than commitment to living your best life since you only have one.

Monday, March 7, 2016

The Power of One

I know some people look at my post and roll their eyes. That is OK. 😀 I have been on both sides of this spectrum. Now if I can give a little hope and a little positivity to just one person I will. After all isn't that how change begins? With one. I'm not going to change the world but if I can help change one heart with my hope, positivity, and love. That is enough for me! My life is totally imperfect, I have my major health issues but they aren't excuses they are my foundation. You can go two ways in life. Trust me my life is SO much better this way. Try to spread some optimism and positivity this week - after all it all begins with one.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Lessons From Louie

The kids and I finally got to watch the movie Unbroken. Yes, 2 years late. It was worth it though. It is about Louie Zamperini. Growing up through hard times his brother always told him "if you can take it, you can make it". This got him on the track team in High School and to the Olympic Track Team. Later while serving in War his plane was shot down. After being on a raft for about 45 days he said to God, I swear you get me through this I will dedicate my life to you and do whatever you want. After this he was found. Unfortunately by Japan and became a prisoner of war. For years. What they showed is nowhere close to what I'm sure he was put through and it was beyond brutal. Enough to make anybody forget that promise in that raft and become a hard, broken person. After years of abuse and torture he finally went home. After years of severe post traumatic stress Louie made good on the his promise to serve God, a decision he credited with saving his life. Motivated by faith, Louie came to see that the way forward was not revenge, but forgiveness. He returned to Japan and made peace with all his captors but one who refused to meet him. I don't tell you this for a history lesson. I'm telling you this because no matter how broken you are, there is a better road then anger. Our lives comparably are nothing to what this man went through. I know my few years of darkness and bad things that happened is nothing compared to his. I have had my rock bottom prayers though and I have had my moments I have wanted to turn away because it was so bad. Faith has always eventually won. I have actually forgiven everyone in my life. Which is huge a year ago I could not have said that. Even the one's who had hurt me the most. Why? Not for them - for me because it sets me free. Just like it did him. Faith and forgiveness are amazing things. It may take a while to get there but when you do life will never be the same