Reflecting Back 7 Years

I had a sweet friend send me a screenshot of a conversation we had 7 years ago tonight. At first I laughed. Then I really reflected on it. This was me deep in sadness after my diagnosis. I was gaining and saw no end in sight. I saw no happiness but my children. I was a mess. I saw diet as a 4 letter word. I saw exercise as something I wanted nothing to do with. Supporting my friend. Wow, I couldn't even do that. I deflected my own thoughts on her victory. To that friend I am so very sorry. I should have cheered you on instead I said something about your knees. That must have been an excuse of mine at the time not to workout. I was 110 lbs heavier then. I had an excuse for everything. It was mostly I think to protect myself. I was so scared then I didn't even know if I was going to live so why try? I did have that one morning though where I woke up and decided my life was a gift and not a death sentence. Where I decided I was going to succeed at losing weight, being happy and being healthy. That it didn't matter if I had one day or 50 years I was going to live every single day to the fullest. It took a little trial and error. I did continue to get back up though. The other thing I reflect on now is that old me could NEVER have imagined that this new me would run a 5k 4-5x a week for the last 4 years, lift weights, eat clean and help other get healthy. The old me had that in her. She just didn't believe in herself. So if you are where I was KNOW it is possible. Believe in yourself because I believe in you.