June 16th

June 16th .. Dates leave images in your mind. This is one of those dates for me except it leaves a huge memory blank for me. Sadly for my children I can't say the same - this is the day five years ago that while volunteering in our local soup kitchen I had a gran mal seizure. This is a vision I wish daily I could erase from their minds. I don't remember it happening, I don't remember the EMT's, I don't remember the ambulances but they do. I remember waking up and hour and half later with my husband staring at me in a hospital room having no idea what happened. My brain will never be fixed as it was found I have irregular brainwaves - which is treatable but not curable. I deal with the reality of that twice a day as I take my medicine. Now the date which use to strike fear in me has become almost a day of victory. It is now my "life day" - I know my time was not up or the seizure would have happened 20 minutes before when I was driving on I-35. I was destined for more. It took me a good 6 months to get through PTSD - to realize what I was given was a second chance. I feel from that moment that I became a different, person, mother, wife and friend. I closed my circle of friends a little - cherished the ones who are always there for me. I have become a better Mom - I live for my kids and my family. I am so grateful I didn't leave a little 7 year old girl and 11 year old boy behind. I'm so honored to watch them grow up. Also I have finally got "me" right. I have found the healthy person who was hiding inside for so long. So much comes from moments in time... Learn and grow from them. Don't sweat the small stuff. You never know when your time will be up. So for the rest of my life when I wake up I will simply thank God I am still here.